The world has turned upside down, Rutgers, the Dutch knowledge centre on sexuality, thinks. Because: you should not address the one who wears the clothing, but those who take offence. “Otherwise, you make the girls responsible for the sexual behaviour that certain clothing might provoke in boys or men”, said a spokesperson of the knowledge centre in the Dutch daily Trouw.

The school directors (from Roermond, Amersfoort and Zwolle) were subjected to so much criticism that they no longer want to talk to the media. All three are shocked by the reactions and say that their words were misunderstood.

Basic limit

Wietske Kruyswijk of education agency “Weerbaar in Seksualiteit” (resilient in sexuality) can imagine the directors' appeal. “If I look around at an average school where we help with some guidance, the current fashion is more uncovered compared to other years.”

Kruyswijk understands well that schools want to use a basic limit. But only announcing that limit is not desirable. “First, talk to your pupils. How do they see it? Do they have to be able to wear all kinds of clothes, or are there certain norms in certain situations?” According to her, a school can give a direction to what it considers desirable from that contact.

Sex education is about teaching pupils to take responsibility for themselves and others, she says. “You are not only focused on yourself. You also take the other person into account. In how you talk, how you behave, how you treat each other and, in my opinion, also in how you dress. This applies to both girls and boys”, she says about Rutgers’ reaction. At the same time, she finds it logical that especially girls are addressed. “Their clothes show much more skin than boys’ clothes.

For people who feel their freedom is being restricted, Kruyswijk advises them to talk to the teachers. “Then you hear how uncomfortable and complicated situations in schools sometimes get.”

School is not a beach

It is “very much of this age” that people do what they like, says etiquette expert Lilian Woltering. “That’s up to me. It is my life, isn’t it?” Still, according to her, dress codes are there for a reason. “They serve a purpose. Clothing should fit with the image and atmosphere at school. School is not a beach; you’re learning there. And you don’t want teachers and pupils to be distracted.”

The dress code also has to do with respect. “A lot of nudity can make people feel uncomfortable. We know that boys are easily upset and don’t pay attention anymore if girls are dressed too nude.”

With bare bottom on your bike

Woltering thinks those bare-belly shirts (“they look like bikinis”) are going too far. She would explain it to young people: “With such short, frayed shorts, you’re literally with your bare bottom on the bike. People might think the wrong things about that. And you can embarrass teachers because they don’t want to interfere with your choices, but it’s also awkward to look at.”

People in the Netherlands are dressing more and more informally, observes the etiquette expert. Working from home during the corona pandemic only reinforces that trend. “People take last year’s casual style to school and the office. But there is a limit. I would disapprove of my child going to school in sweatpants, for example. Sportswear is for sports.”

This article was published previously in the Dutch Reformatorisch Dagblad on June 24th 2021.